Weed is great; the people who smoke it aren't.
I love weed, but I can't stand other people who do it. Nearly every pothead I know is greedy, selfish, and never willing to share any of their drugs. These people will use anything as an excuse.
Potheads take the word "flakey" to a new level. Making plans with a weed addict is like fucking a prostitute - they tell you that they're coming, but you know it's a lie.
Stoners only talk about one thing: weed. I can't stand being in a room and having to listen to a group of them argue and engage in long, heated discussions about it:
Stoner #1: "Dude, this is fuckin' dank herb man!"
Stoner #2: "No way, that's just green bud, it ain't shit."
Stoner #1: "Naw man, this is the bomb dizzity dank. It doesn't look like it, but this stuff is insane."
Stoner #2: "Seriously bro, my friend had that exact same shit, it aint no thang."
Stoner #1: "Yeah but he prolly got a stem, this shit's pure, dawg. Trust me."
They go on like that for hours and it's ridiculous. Weed is weed; you smoke it and get high. End of discussion.
I think pot should be legal, that's just my opinion. However, I'm not about to devote my life to it. Groups like the "Legalize Cannabis Alliance" lounge around and brainstorm cheesy slogans like "Legalize it, don't penalize it.". The organizations throw thousands of dollars into making promotional posters, leaflettes, and bumper stickers for their cause. I say, if you're going to invest that much money to smoke pot legally, take the cash and buy yourself a one-way ticket to Amsterdam where stoners already won the war on drugs.
Then there are the musician weedheads who say, "I'm better at the [instrument] when I'm high." That's such bullshit. Everything sounds awesome when you're stoned. I could play a keyboard for five hours and think I'm the greastst pianist on the planet before realizing it's not even turned on. Watch, I'll get high and try and rap.
...
Here I go yo. Mofo.
I smoked pot, now I'm spacing out like an astronaut.
I stare at a white wall and see poka-dots and sun spots..
I watch a bird outside and think it's my high school mascot.
When I'm high, I behave fruity like an apricot.
When I'm out of bud, I smoke the marijuana stalks
'till my eyes get bloodshot and my guts get blood clot.
My rhymes are comical like fox trot.
Damn. Doctor? Remind me not to ever write on my site while high (ot). Starchy marchy parchment tater tot.
See? That looks totally awesome right now because I'm baked. I read it and think I'm better than Eminem and Skittles. Too bad. Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, read this, and think I'm an asshole. Maybe I'll change it, maybe not.
Holy cornflakes Batman, I can't really remember what I was writing about.
Holy shit.
Listen. This is like... ground breaking new stoner technology: I'm going to light both ends of a joint and suck through a hole in the middle. My hypothesis is that I will get twice as high. I can't believe nobody's thought of this before.
Alexander: yes captain. Are you high, sir? No! That is me in the corner eating a banana split. How can I be in the corner when I'm on the computer typing at the same time? Well dad, It must be my banana split personality.
Enough about weed, I'd like to talk about cereal. Cereal Captain. My favorite cereal is gigawut. Gigawho? Ligament. Fine linament in a yuck yuck hockey puck where's Captain Hook?
Can you spot my name in this picture? If not, try finding it with google. Boogle mood, please brood, mmm food, search on google dude.
Last updated January 11th, 2004