The Official Comedy Cartoon Ranking List Thing
There has been a lot of needless talk about this subject and it frustrates me how much time is being wasted. Here is the official list, ranked best to worst.
1. Family Guy
Family Guy is pretty much flawless. Anyone who disagrees is trying to rebel and get attention. They use Family Guy's popularity to gain individuality through hating it. But from where I'm sitting, I'd rather be a tool who enjoys Family Guy than be unique and bored.
2. Southpark
Same.
3. Harvey Birdman
The most underrated show around. The problem is that Harvey Birdman references itself so much that if you haven't seen every episode prior, you'll miss out on the HB experience. What appears as random is actually grounded in previous bits.
4. Beavis and Butthead
Most younguns nowadays think of Beavis and Butthead as two guys critiquing videos. That's not true. I'm talking about the episodes, not the music video commentary. The concept is flawless and most episodes kick ass. Beavis and Butthead have taught us all the lesson that we are all stupid, which is very crucial in a world of arrogant pretentious stupid fuckfaces.
5. Simpsons
This show had it's glory, but it's since been upstaged. Do you expect it to still be the best in 2058? Hell no. And don't get into, "Old Simpsons is better than Family Guy" bullshit. Simpsons is in decline, that's all that matters. Granted it dominated at one point, but the jokes and concepts have turned into Cliches. Kind of like Animal House and Waynes World. They're classic but cliche and are only useful for nostalgia.
7. Ren and Stimpy
Thrown in for us old schoolers. Again, nostalgia.
8. Futurama
Instead of laying down funny stuff to a simple plot, Futurama relies on making a funny plot prevail throughout the episode. It doesn't work. My attention span, as well as everyone else's, is not capable of allowing it to work. We demand boom boom boom funniness.
9. American Dad
You can count on a few laughs per episode, which isn't a valuable use of my time.
6. Robot Chicken
Robot Chicken is a gamble. Many of the bits are boring and drag on for too long. Simply making pointless claymation sequences just isn't enough anymore.
10. A blank screen.
Everything else on TV sucks and I'd rather stare at my ugly reflection.
34563457. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Some people reading this list were thinking, "Oh no, he left out ATHF." No I didn't. The show is terrible. I don't get you people. It's okay if you like random humor, but random humor sucks. "Hi, I'm meatwad, I have a stupid silly smirk and I'm a wad of meat and I found a kumquat." Blah.
It's not clever or cool and the only purpose of ATHF is so that immature little geeky teenagers have something to relate their pathetic insecurities to. You guys are the same people that if you watched Harvey Birdman, your favorite character would be Reducto. You enjoy extremely simple characters with one or zero motives. You're the kind of people that wear shirts that say "This is the super killer mongoose bent on world domination." But then the mongoose says, "Uhh.. I just want some bread." The mere concept of something cute and harmless wanting to destroy the world is retarded. No offense to Stewie. Stewie is different because he's the shit. As far as I'm concerned, Stewie is the only character allowed to be that way.
Every TV show or movie has at least one of those simple characters. And they put those shallow characters in there so that shallow people have someone to relate to.
Shows like Aqua Teen have nothing but them. It's so basic and simple and there's absolutely no depth at all. People tell me, "Yeah it seems so simple on the surface but deep down it's actually really deep." Okay, anybody who uses the 'below and above the surface' analogy anymore needs to be beaten mercilessly with a corked bat.
Ya know what else is cliche? Ranting. I'm sorry it had to come to this. Here's something comedic I made to lighten the mood.
The problem is that there's so much anger on the internet nowadays. It's impossible to discern between real anger and fake anger, so everybody gets all skeptical about how genuine things are. I'll tell you what was genuine was the orgasm I had last night. I'm pretty sure the girl's was faked though. Hookers usually do that. That's what we pay them for. It'd be silly to beg a girlfriend to fake an orgasm, although I'm sure she would do it for money. I'm leaving.
Last updated October 4th, 2005