Tetris is very sexual game.

The other night I thought I turned into a Tetris piece. I floated around my room singing analogously and changing shapes and wondering what I would say to other Tetrii if they knocked on my door.

Then I fantasized about sticking myself into another group of Tetris pieces and it it occured to me the sexual nature of the game. It was a big enlightening moment at the time. In the Tetris world, the fatter the girl, the more satisfying the sex would be. But it wouldn't really be that satisfying because you can only stick it in once, ever. Then you explode.

Imagine if you could never go backwards in life. You'd just walk down the sidewalk and keep walking forwards. You can move left and right, but never back. And if you happen to come across a hot girl, you could stick it in her once and that's it.

Imagine this - what if we are Tetris pieces in a game programmed by four dimensional creatures? And they're allowed to go backwards in TIME, but we're not. Wouldn't sex be great if you could go back in time? You'd be all, "Oops, wrong hole.." EEEEMMIIT.. And you get to try again. I'm pretty sure that if you went back in time, it would make a sound like "emit." I bet that's why Emit Smith is so good at football. If he doesn't do it right, he goes back in time and tries again. Or maybe he goes back in htims. I dunno.

These are the things I thought about. The next day, the story seemed stupid. I'm posting it anyway because my psychiatrist told me that I should not care what other people think and only do what I think is right. And at the time I thought it was very right.

Girls, the moral of this story is that if you let a guy do you in the anus, your butt will explode and he will score 200 points. Also, don't make stupid Bush jokes or people will think you're a worthless hack. The end. Or is is.. the beginning. EMMMMITTTTTTT ahahaha we have a winner.

Last updated November 18th, 2005