You're not being stalked. Get over yourself.
Girls always complain about guys stalking them. It's usually to make them appear more sought after. It's a total jock for status. It doesn't work. When a girl talks about her many stalkers, a guy doesn't think, "Wow, this girl sure is a prize to be won." All girls think is, "Shouldn't have slept with him, slut." And all guys think is, "Wow, this cock tease is nothing but fat and trouble. I'm outta here."
Most of the time it's made-up bullshit when a girl complains about a guy stalking her. And even if she does actually think she's being stalked, it's usually her fault anyway so she has no reason to complain.
Usually when girls think they're being stalked, the guy who's "stalking" has no idea what's going on. This is because girls do not make it clear to guys how they feel. A girl will talk to a guy on the phone, act nice, laugh, flirt, and then when she hangs up, she'll bitch to the people around her - "Oh my god that guy is so creepy. He is such a stalker. That guy is such a creep. I mean, I waited until halfway through my custom ringtone to answer his call. Can't he take a hint?"
"That guy is so creepy. I told him what color bra I'm wearing and he got all weird and creepy. Oh my god creepy."
"Oh my god, he's such a stalker. I told him to call me Saturday and maybe we'll do something. I said 'maybe,' Charlotte, MAYBE. Jesus. CAN'T HE TAKE A HINT? WHY DOES HE KEEP CALLING ME?"
"Oh my god, ya know that Jensen guy? Like.. what a stalker. Like.. I don't like.. like him.. but he keeps calling me. Ugh. Right? And I keep answering it. And I keep going to his house and having sex with him. Oh my god, and he asked me to marry him and I said yes. Like.. seriously.. Ugh. So creepy. And we like.. got married and moved in together and now like.. he's always coming over to my house and like.. sleeping in my bed.. ew it's so gross. And we had kids and he's always trying to be around them and like.. take them places.. I think the only reason he pretends to like our kids is to be around me.. uh."
Because girl's fucking suck at hints. A guy's hint is easy. Guys go like this: "Hey Aleisha, I don't want a relationship with you." End of transaction. A girl's idea of a hint is going out to dinner with a guy and using her chewing to say 'leave me alone' in morse code. We don't pick up your crazy symbolic metaphorical subtle suggestions. It's not that we're stupid. We just don't have time to sit and interpret and analyze your behavior into madness.
Last year I had sex with this girl one night. And in the morning, she said, "Call me later, okay?" So I did. I called her, and she didn't answer. I called her again the next day. She didn't answer. Am I a god damn stalker now? She told me to call her. That's not even a hint, no matter how subtle. She told me to call her. I called her. She was sitting at a luncheon date with all her dunt luncheon gals talking about stupid dunt luncheon shit and her phone rang and it was me and she looked at it and said, "Oh my god, this creepy stalker guy keeps calling me. Ick to the extreme."
And her friend is like, "Oh my god, I have one of those two. Aren't they creepy? Like just leave me alone!" "I know, right!"
Which is bullshit. I didn't even like her. I just called her because she asked me to. I didn't want to. I was being fucking polite. She was nothing special. Or, to put it in more clear terms, I wouldn't be proud of putting our video online. To say the least. She had giant dimples on her ass cheeks and she had pimples on her ass dimples. And she had wicked dimple cellulite with pimply dimples and nothing about it was simple. It was like fucking a deep dish bowl of lasagna.
Who knows if they do this subtlety garbage because they secretly want to be stalked, or if it makes them feel more wanted, or if they like bragging about it. I don't know. All I know is that it's some seriously weak-ass annoying shit.
And sometimes it can get really bad. Like when the guy actually likes the girl. The relationship progresses as it should, he grows fond of her, she gives no indication that anything is wrong, and all of a sudden, she cuts off all communication. Then the guy goes fucking insane mode. It drives us nuts when girls do this. Why do girls this? Is it fun for you? You invest that much of your time and emotional energy on a practical joke?
I've been in that position. When a girl builds the bondage of trust and then downright cuts off communication. Sidenote, bondage of trust is my favorite. Try it sometime. But the girl has to be skinny.
So the girl leads the guy to believe she's crazy about him, then goes from crazy-about to ignore instantly without warning. The guy starts "stalking" her. And it's not so much "stalking" as it is wondering what the fuck happened. Usually the guy just wants to know what he did wrong. He wants to know her reason for doing it. And she never answers, so he starts calling her more often, just to spite her for not answering. So he goes to her house and knocks on the door. Meanwhile, she's freaking out. She thinks he's going to rapekill her or something. He just wants to know the story. And she doesn't answer the door. So he starts going to her house more and more, just to spite her for not answering. Then he steals her underwear and draws pictures of his dick on it and sends it to her in the mail. She could have avoided it all by being straight forward. It's really easy to do, watch:
Girl: "Hey, Jay, I have something to say to you."
Guy: "What's that?"
Girl: "Well. It's just that. You and I aren't working out."
Guy: "I know. That's why you're so fat."
Girl: "No, I mean.. us.. we aren't working out."
Guy: "I know. That's why you're so fat."
Girls: "No, Jay, our relationship.. it's not working out."
Guy: "Jill, honey.. listen.. a relationship is an abstract concept and not only does it not contain bones or muscle fibers, but it doesn't contain any form of tangible matter at all. It is physically impossible for it to do both free weights and machines. Alright, Jilly-babe?"
I guess it's not that easy. But still, they could at least try.
Last updated March 18th, 2009