Social Networking Sucks

I like life. I like the internet. But I hate social networking because it's too much of both in the same place. It's overwhelming. You take it too seriously. Social networking is what computer people have been doing for years, but instead of random folks around the world, it's with people you already know and interact with in real life. Twitter is just an IRC channel for your friends. Facebook, Twitter, whatever. We've been having fun with this technology since the 90s. Now you've all acquired these toys and made them accessories to your life, rather than an escape. You've hijacked our culture. And I don't blame you. Computers are fucking sweet. I know this, and I've been telling you this years. Remember the socially stupid guys in the computer lab at lunch? This is what we were doing. Many many years before you. And now you act like you found it. Where is the apology? Where is MY apology? Where is MY apology blowjob from all the dumb hot girls of my youth who rejected me solely on account of my interest in computers? I didn't get laid until I was 16 because my hobby was to do what girls who rejected me then, now do 5 hours every day. Is that irony? I don't know. But it's something. And I deserve to be blown at least 18 times as a result of my culture's tenacious adherence, despite all the bullying and ridicule, to continue doing what we believed to be fucking awesome. So every time you log onto your shitty-ass whatever-is-trendy social networking exact-replica-of-all-the-others account, just keep in mind how much of a douchebag you were then and probably still are now. Thank you.

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Last updated November 9th, 2009