Urinating during sex is only gross when the woman does it.

Roughly 17 out of 100 sexual encouters involve urination. That's at least 15%. I made a bar graph putting it into perspective.

Right now you're probably thinking how gross it is to piss on somebody. I agree. It's disgusting. But after being married for twenty years, you've had every possible kind of sex that the human body is capable of. You even start taking yoga classes to gain enough flexibility to try something new. Trust me, I've been there. No I haven't. But I think about it all the time. Most guys come to the conclusion, "Screw it, I'll just piss on her." And from that point on, his world will never be the same. Before a man gets married, this is his rating scale for women:

Then he gets married and realizes that regular textbook sex isn't fun anymore. His scale transitions into:

This is all speculation, of course. I've never been married. I'm not that knowledgeable on the subject. I'm actually a virgin. But it's a huge redundancy anyway. I don't understand why everybody uses a 1-10 rating scale. It does not require a decimal system.

Basically it's: Would you do her or would you not do her? Plain and simple. So shut up with the, "Dude, she's like an 8."
"No way, she's totally a 6.5."
"What? You're crazy! That girl's hellafine. 8.26 at least."
"Hell no man, she's like (2+1/x)"
"Yeah, I like nerdy chicks. So what?"
"Fuck you, never talk to me again."

Those conversations ruin relationships. I swear. It's 1 or 0 and nothing more. Simmer down. Okay. Let's get back on tract.

I'll be completely honest. I don't know if you know this or not but some girls orgasm so hard that they lose bladder control and piss uncontrollably. And then they always wonder why it's kinky when a man pisses, but when a girl urinates, the man can no longer take her seriously. That's because men do it on purpose because it's fun. Women can't help it.

One time this particular episode happened to me. I finally got a girl in the sack. When it came time, she squirted all over the bed. I thought it was really disgusting. I got slightly angry and maybe a little frustrated with the situation and I told her that I wanted her to die. In tears, she asked me, "Does this mean it's over?" I replied, "I dunno, honey. I'll sleep on it and decide in the morning."

Last updated November 8th, 2005