Stop listening to music and be miserable.

Music enhances people's lives. But people are scumbags and don't deserve to have their lives enhanced. Here is why:

People are stupid.
Your parents are ashamed of you.
Your friends think you're annoying but don't have the heart to say, "You can't come."
You have cancer and don't know it yet.
Even if you avoid the draft, the American military will eventually invade the country you fled to. Then you'll either die, go to prison, or get redrafted.
If your heart decides to take a break, you die.
The people in the other room can hear you masturbate and they find it appalling.
Your life is all uphill from here.
Two apes are going to attack you at a zoo and rip off your genitals and foot.
No matter how boring a reality TV show is, your life is worse.
You don't have any money.
America trained mid-east soldiers who attacked America soon after. Then America invaded the mid-east to train more soldiers.
You have a 10% chance of ending up gay.
65% of the things said to you each day are a lie.

Those are just a few examples of why your life sucks. And all these things considered, to actually think that you have the right to feel good is arrogant and uncalled for. You should be miserable along with me and everyone else. Stop listening to music because you don't deserve to. The only beat you should ever hear is your heart thumping in fear while you're sitting alone in the dark.

From now on, I'm jamming out to nothing but static. I'll only blast music that has no rhythm, no melody, nothing in tune, just cringing noise that makes my butthole pucker. Songs like this one that I made:

Download Music Sucks, by Xomfy.mp3

Get that song, stick it on your iPod, and loop it fifty times with your headphone cranked to the max. Each time you listen, it should be a refreshing reminder of how terrified you are of death and how blinded you were by the catchy tunes and "feelgood" lyrics you used to listen to. Stop using music to run from the fact that life sucks.

Last updated March 7th, 2005