Let's all become apes.
I'm very disgusted with computers and the way things are going. There is nothing positive happening in the future with computers and the internet. Instant communication, global networking, automated services, all makes me cry. And by cry, I mean feel bad. And by feel bad, I mean give it a quick thought and then go to class and stare at this one chick who always wears a thong. But it's kind of gross because it's the same color thong every day and I'm starting to worry. And by worry, I mean not masturbate to her anymore.
Why do people pay for anything with computers? It's all free. Any time you spend a cent for anything that isn't entirely material, you're wasting money. Anti-viruses, popup blockers, online subscriptions, porn, it's all free. Why don't people understand that? These companies like AOL and Microsoft actually sell these blatently free products.
That's like Coke advertising, "The air that you use to hyperventilate as you go into diabetic shock is free!" Or like a prostitute with a sign around her neck that says, "The condom is complimentary!" Condomentary. That's ridiculous. Who uses a condom with a prostitute? I want my money's worth. Jeez. When I get a prostitute, none of this latex barrier. I'll please have some melted cheese on my beef stick.
I was looking on AOL's site and their actual advertisement says "Enjoy free on-demand entertainment." As if anybody is sitting in their room demanding entertainment. If you want to be entertained, you go to youtube or google anything you want to watch, read, or listen to. There's nobody being entertainment deprived on the internet. You'll never see some guy slamming his fists on the keyboard, "I DEMAND entertainment RIGHT NOW. PLEASE. What the FUCK!!!" Simmer down. It's the internet. If you're not entertained, you're not doing it right."
Heads exploding is such a cliche. I should have made his foot explode. That'd be way more avant garde. But nobody would get it. They'd be like, "Why did his foot explode? Shouldn't his head explode? I'm going to go lie down now." I wish people didn't have so much pride. It's pride that causes stubbornness. It's all a waste.
Everything is a waste nowadays. Nothing is natural. The only natural things left in the world are sex and drugs. And they're trying to take those from us as well with contraceptives and synthetic chemicals. All this technology makes me sick. It's all a big marketing ploy to make technology seem necessary for survival.
Companies want to sell more technology, so they deem the old technology obsolete by fabricating new desires that can only be fulfilled by the new technology.
You don't need bubbly icons and little animations of dogs to help you search for files. What a ridiculous feature. Dogs are good for searching for drugs and gophers. Not word documents.
The worst part that really drives me insane is that when you turn off an animation, it continues to animate for a few seconds. I am clearly not interested in an animation, hence turning it off. So why continue to animate? Am I supposed to feel sympathy for a dog animation looking sad? Hell no. I want to replace every monster in Doom 3 with that dog. Then the game might actually be fun. Screw that game.
Screw all games except 4-square. Let's bring back 4-square. That game ruled. But I hated those kids that would always state the rules before each serve. They'd be like, "Okay.. no upsies, downsies, spikers, twisters, fakies, corners, treetops, backhands, black magic, green magic, card magic, blockers, zingers, zangers, twangers, footsies, flipsies, double flipsies, triple flipsies, or using your dick like a bat. Okay?" Those kids all grew up to be brown nosing uppity morons. They all kissed ass into middle management of small businesses and now they walk around to every cubicle saying, "Hey Johnson. I'd just like to remind you.. No sleepies, breakies, solitairies, minesweepies, yahoo gamies, chatties, newgroundsies, pornies, or reading that shitty samurai pirate site."
Anyway, sorry to get off topic there. Actually I'm not sorry. Fuck you. You should be sorry for participating in this techno-age garbage miserable culture.
Most of what we have is useless. For example, this is a piece of technology that is 98% worthless:
You don't need any of that crap to play music. You just need this:
You don't even need color. Color doesn't enhance the quality of music. Or anything really. I think we should all go back to the 1950s when the world was black and white.
Actually, don't use a music player at all. Music isn't necessary. Or a computer. Let's go back to the 1950s BC. Screw technology and cellphones and iPods and everything. I think everyone should live in adobe houses with dirt floors and have farms. I'm sick of technology. Cameras, cars, metronomes, metrosexuals, robots (I fucking hate robots), have I ever mentioned how much I hate robots? I'm going to do it right now. I hate robots. There, I said it. Robots are computer people, and I hate computers and people.
To anyone planning on emailing me saying, "Man, fuck Windows, use Linux." Or, "Screw Windows Media Player, use VLC." No, you don't understand. Technology sucks. Everything is stupid. Throw away your computer. Let's all live like animals and have stinky ostrich sex with everyone and not communicate. Communicating is overrated. Fuck language, talking isn't necessary, let's all be apes. Let's even walk like apes. Apes are awesome. Remember when they tried to teach that ape sign language and it shot up the school? Or maybe that was deaf students, I don't remember. But let's all run around grunting at each other and fighting for no reason and pissing to mark our territory. No more police. For reals, and I'm not saying that in the gangsta "man, fuck da police" way, I'm saying seriously.. no police. Get rid of police. And guns. I want to fight with bones that I stripped from the skeletons of other people that I killed. And if you see a guy carrying a huge bone, you know he must have killed someone really big to get it. Wouldn't that be an awesome place to live in?
I'm guessing you skimmed through all that nonsene to get to this paragraph. You were looking for another picture, but were disappointed because there is no more. And I'd just like to say that go to hell.
Last updated January 25th, 2006