Blah blah blah.

I'm totally out of things to say. This site sucks now. A lot of people have been emailing me telling me this, and I totally agree. What can I say? There's only so many times a webmaster can talk about masturbating before it just gets old. Wait, I take that back. I got one:

The other day I was masturbating and my balls fell off I made them into devilled eggs.

That one wasn't so bad. Survey says.. That blew. Dammit.

So I'm in this play. I recommend anyone in the Missoula area go to it. It's called Lysistrata and it's playing at the Masquer theater the first two weekends of August: 5th, 6th, 7th and 12th, 13th, 14th. Go! It'll be great.

Okay, on to more feeble joke attempts to try and prove myself as "still funny."

- I thought of a new name for Tori Amos - Toremy Anus

Terrible.

- I went to a pawn shop to buy chess pieces. How ironic is that?

That one might take a while. Fuck it.

- Alcohol is an acquired taste, but I'm not in a choir.

Jeez man.

- I don't do anything half-assed. Unless it's a girl with one butt cheek.

 

Ugh. Awful awful awful. I've definitely lost it. Or, lost whatever I may have found. Maybe I just need a break from writing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Okay break's over. Time to write a joke.

Why did Alexander masturbate?

Answer: Because he didn't want to get the girl pregnant.

 

That blew. Try again.

 

Why did the girl masturbate?

Answer: Because Alexander was pregnant.

 

Fuck. That doesn't make any sense. It's true - I officially suck ass. I quit. This website is over. From now on, I will no longer update this webpage anymore.

It will still be updated though. Not by me. Instead, I will channel the information from Krentog, a hydralisk who was once fired for writing dirty abortion jokes on popcicle sticks. Now he's dead and I will summon his wisdom and project it onto the keyboard.

Hi I am Krentog. Fuck you shitface.

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Last updated July 29th, 2005