You are not "random." Shut the hell up.

What's with morons trying to be random? All my friends are into it. Their entire sense of humor revolves around saying and doing random things. They blurt out, "Monkey peanut sauce nipple!" Then the entire room will break out with giggling. I understand that we're kids and that's what we do, but c'mon. You don't have to be pubescent to refrain from being an idiot.

People resort to being random because they have nothing intelligent or cool to add to a conversation. They see people talking and need to get attention so they blurt out a bunch of words and contort their face. Most of the time, it's loud and strange sounds made with their mouth. Almost always, the word "monkey" is included. It's just a fake, annoying, and self-induced spasm. Too bad nobody is impressed. Too bad they're laughing at you, not with you.

Spontaneity is great when it just happens that way. Rarely, someone is actually random and it's really funny. The problem is when people go out of their way to force it on themselves to come off that way. It's just ridiculous and I see right through that nonsense.

In short, people who go out of their way to be random are annoying weasels. Get a clue and stop trying to come off insane. If you're going to be spontaneous, do it with some style. Like this:

I am Korean.

Not only am I korean, but I have no eyes.

and this is a mudrat:

Yes. Randoming it up like a champ.

I win.

Last updated April 26th, 2004