Are you sure those are Iraqi prisoners?

Last week, photos were released of people doing what appeared to be terrible things. The pictures were of two American soldiers torturing Iraqi prisoners... or were they?

The photo on the left hardly looks like torture. It appears a group of people wearing green hats are piled on top of each other. The only way this could be classified as torture is if Rosie O'Donnel's fat ass was placed on top. It looks more to me like a group of Iraqi's in mid tackle. Nothing wrong with this image.

According to the news, the picture on the left shows that U.S. soldiers put an Iraqi on a box and attached wires to him. If he stepped off the box, the guy would get electrocuted. That doesn't sound like torture to me. Real torture has to be bloody and terrifying, like spleens being ripped out and nonstop blasting of Simple Plan. This photo is definitely DJ Mr. Len from the hip hop crew Company Flow.

The photo on the left shows a girl smiling and pointing to a man's genitals. There is no way pointing at a man's penis can be classified as torture, unless she is a witch casting a magic spell to give him elephantitis of the nuts. However, in this dimension, it is much more likely that the woman is a teacher giving her class a lesson on the male reproductive anatomy. Obviously not an image that depicts torture.

The supposed picture of two "torturers" shows someone in a brown shirt giving thumbs up with a partner in a green shirt. Can this really be classified as a scene of terror? The picture on the right is George Bush with an officer from Travis Air Force Base. The one on the right has more to do with terrorizing than the left.

All these photos that were released are innocent and harmless, and I don't know why everybody is making such a big deal over them.

Last updated May 10th, 2004