My Hot Pocket
4-20. ! Woohoo! A lot of people think I'm a stoner. Not really. I'm more of a rocker. It's strange how ROCKers are usually STONErs. No, I don't smoke that much weed. I'm not one of "those" people who all they do is sit around and smoke pot. I'm more of a closet stoner. I do it to build more suspense and tension between me and the poultry so that when the big [krumpet] comes, it's that much more powerful. Here, without further ado, is my hot pocket:
I made it about ten minutes ago. Can you guess what flavor this particular item is? I'll give you a hint: it starts with "ham" and ends with "cheese." I walked to the store at 2am to buy it. Walked. If I had driven, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying to eat. If I had the time, I would hunt all my food. In general, the harder you work for something, the more you can appreciate it. That's the proglem nowadays, everybody acquires things so easily that nobody appreciates anything and what does "proglem" mean? Here is a list of animals I'd hunt:
1. Cats
I would spend hours chasing animals down and when I finally captured one, I'd eat it raw like sushi. I will call it pusyushi. I'd like to see you justify yourself that well. The next person to make me laugh gets nothing.
Here is a list of my favorite movies:
#1: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
#46,358: Clueless
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The first person to email me with the subject "White Box" will have the contents of their email placed in this white box. |
Blogs
Lately, instead of making new restaurant prank pages all the time, I've been writing them down on a new site, that's gone now. I don't consider it a blog, but if it is one, it's the best blog I've ever read.
I try to avoid reading weblogs, but there's one in particular that I hate. I don't want to give these girls any attention so I won't link to the site. However, if you've heard of them, you'll know who I'm talking about by this tribute image I made:
Yesterday some asshole complained about his coffee being too cold. I dumped it right in his lap and said, "Not too cold now, is it? Amazing how things just spontaneously heat up in midair. Eat your food (which I prepared after fondling my sweaty scrotum)."
To make up for all the time you wasted reading this article, this goes out to *:
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Last updated April 20th, 2004