Republicans are fighting back against Michael Moore with a movie called "FahrenHYPE 911." This so-called "exposing" of Michael Moore and unraveling of "the truth" is terrible. Look at the title - Fahrenhype. Moore's movie title Fahrenheit 911 is clever because it parallels an old book with the destruction of the Twin Towers. "Fahrenhype" is retarded. What does it even mean? You'd think with all the money they're making off the war in Iraq that Republicans could afford to hire a better writer. Tragically, all the writers are Democrats.

Using Moore's style, Fahrenhype 911 tries to make people laugh at Moore by making him look stupid. It would be very effective if only Moore was stupid and the makers weren't. At one point they show Moore speaking into a microphone, "There is no terrorist threat." The goal was to make people think, "Wow, what a moron!" Just like they did when Moore showed clips of Bush saying dumb things. Back to reality - not a single terrorist attack has happened in the US since 911. With all this non-terror going on, claiming that there is no terror threat really isn't that outrageous of a claim for Moore to make.

Contrary to what Republicans think, America was never elected as Doctor of Earth. Even if we were, bombing weak countries isn't going to make them stronger. I don't think a doctor would last long in the medical field if he bombed all his patients. Above all that, there is no way that pro-war people actually care about the Iraqis. Of course they don't. They want more power. Is it really that hard to get? I'm a fat idiot who sits around all day playing pin the jizz on the tube sock and even I can see that Michael Moore is right about most of the things he says.

The FahrenHYPE website has many reviews on it. All of them are praise for the movie. Whodathunkit? Out of the 20 reviews, 20 are positive. It's ironic because that's exactly the kind of trash that devilish conservatives would do in any other situation. That's the difference between Moore and anti-Moore. An anti-Moore will use slinky tactics like selective sampling and other marketing strategies to convince you of the cause. Moore, on the other hand, will straight up say, "This is my movie. These are my views. This is why I believe it." Moore has no hidden agenda and chooses to let his words speak for themselves. I don't have hidden agendas either, but I do have hidden porno. I don't get why people hide their agendas. Mine is usually really boring. If someone is really that interested in my agenda, they can see it.

Moore calls Republicans liars. Republicans call Moore a liar. So who is telling the truth? Moore is. Moore isn't lying because he has no reason to. He's voicing his opinion because he thinks there are things wrong with America. If he needs to lie about things being wrong, nothing is wrong. If nothing is wrong, Moore would have no need to say that things are wrong because nothing is wrong.

Fahrenhype 911 exploits the "Iraqis are miserable and we need to help them" sob story. That would be a very powerul response to Moore if only the welfare of a sovereign nation were any of our fucking business. I'm sorry to all you oh-so-compassionate Republicans, but it's not America's job to help other countries with our problems. If Iraqis want to mutilate eachother's genitals, let them do it. As twisted as it seems, that's what we call a "culture." Every society has one and they're all different. That's right, Bush, not everyone strives to be like you.

Hype also tries to make 911 come off as "not that big of a deal." They practically flat out say it. They claim that when compared to other methods of death, merely three thousand people dying in a terror strike isn't as huge as Moore makes it seem. That is... I have no comment. Okay, I do have a comment. If Bush is reelected tomorrow, I'm moving to Amsterdam. Who's coming with me?

Later in the movie, a dumb conservative interviewed says, "I'm not trusting my children's safety or our nation's safety in the hands of Michael Moore's perspective." Hey idiot, it's not Michael Moore's job to protect your kids. Nobody intends to protect you with their perspectives. You'll never hear the President saying, "Iraq has nuclear weapons, lets hit them with a deadly volley of our perspectives!" or a gangster say, "Dude, you better back off my woman or I'ma open up a can of perspectives on your ass."

People are flat-out clueless. Tomorrow, one hundred million people are going to vote for the wrong person. Could that be possible? Could this many people: 100,000,000 be wrong? All humor aside, vote for Kerry. He may be a douchebag, but Bush had his chance. Now it's time to give Kerry his. It has to be done. That's all I have to say.

Last updated November 1st, 2004