Nobody vote.
It would make my day if November second came around and not a single person showed up to cast their vote. Maybe a caveman would walk in and say, "I'm here to vote." But they didn't let him because he was a black, gay, and Jewish (it's cool, I'm allowed to say those things because I'm black, Jewish, and my friend is gay). Then a white cow comes in and makes a cowpie on the floor. He's like, "Hey, this cow pie recipe calls for milk. Do you have some? Oh wait, I have some right here." Then the cow jerks off all over himself and the election guy goes home and porks his wife in the stinkbox.
That's why I'm starting my own party. It's called the Down Party. See, if nobody voted, the Electoral College would elect a goose. Geese are so stupid. Why on earth would those bastards elect a goose as president? I don't understand their logic. That just shows you how corrupt the system is.
Lately I've been pontificating about what college I want to attend. I'm considering the Electoral College. I hear they have great extra-curricular activities, like deciding who is president. Can Yale decide who's president? No way. I wonder if I need a 4.0 to get into Electoral. I bet they drink beer and scrog interns all semester long. That's my kind of school.
What if a terrorist came and tried to vote. She would (I said she because I'm all about that equal rights bullshit, and I think women should have the right to be terrorists too) walk in with a bomb strapped to herself and scream, "If you don't not continue to vote, I'm going to put on the Austin Power theme song and finger my pussy."
That's why there were no females on board the 911 attacks. The male civilians on the plane would get turned on by a hot Middle Eastern terrorist chick and use their giant Ginsu erections to decapitate the terrorists. Mission failed.
It hurts when I masturbate.
Imagine what the ballot counting computer would do if nobody voted. It would blink for a few seconds and display, "Uhhh.. we're fucked." Then it would pack up its RAM and head for Canada. Did you hear that Dell moved their tech support center to India? You call them up and scream, "My hard drive won't work!" They respond, "TAYA DOMO KALIMATA.. PRAISE ALLAH!" Who the fuck is Allah? Isn't that a Middle Eastern dude? Why the hell would an Indian praise the Muslim god? That's how dumb they are. What morons.
I like Cake Allah-mode. Ice cream rules. Praise Allah-mode!
What is your favorite ice cream? I can't remember what mine is. It's some crazy Ben and Jerry's brand. They think up the craziest names for their flavors. I don't think Ben or Jerry even try anymore. The two make up names which don't have anything to do with ice cream.
Hey, it's all natural baby.
Last updated October 22nd, 2004