I <3 Cameraon Diaz.

This isnt a formal update, I'd just like to say that i would surely pee in her butt and wouldnt even care. Not even once. Would I regret pissing inside of carmen diaz? Probably except not at all, jesus christ.

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I absolutely would scrogitate that girl without doing any sort of decision making at all. She would be in the sack and my brain wouldnt even go through any processes thats what im talking about. what am i talking about. no, what the fuck is that one dude talking about "I hate carmen diaz" what a total moron.

So im going to get all those stupid emails from dumbasses "dude wtf was up with your update" shut the fuck up im drunk, dipshithead. nobody understands that ive heard it all. everything you have to say, ive read in an email before. why do you even ask such stupid questions i hope you fall into a manhole, spring a gas leak and light a match

"Dude were u drunk or somethin in that last update!?!??"

no shit im fucking drunk you stupid piece of shit. whatd you think? oh im completely damn sober, thats right. i didnt drink any beer at all. zero. none. no beer. zip. i did have a shit tone of captain morgan though and theres nothing you can do about it because its already circulating in my blood. even so, what does it matter? How does me being drunk or sober or baked off my mind have ANYTHING AT ALL HAVE ANYTHING to do with you or your life? just x the stupid window and go flirt with that one fat chick at denny's

its like you read this crap then go to your daffy insecure friends and say "omg lol did u read teh new sites update? its fuct up lol hes all drunked and shit lol. hehehe. did i say lol already? lol"

So anyway, I'd totally uppercut carmens penis with my vagina. shit that wasnt right. its the other way around, it has to be my penis except thats not the point.

the point is: an organ belonging to me would be engulfed inside of carmen diaz's body and im pretty sure thats all that really matters. it could be my liver or spleen i dont care

then theres the people that are going to email me: "u totally copied yer carmen diaz article" gee really? i was totally absolutely unaware of that! because i'm sitting here cracking jokes about how much i hate her and how much i hate her show. fuck her show. ive never even seen one episode. the only show i remember seeing carmen diaz on is a porno that i took charlies angels and photoshopped each frame so she was naked. and having lesbian sex.

"u copioed that article" DERRRRRRRRRRRR

its not even like carmen diaz is that hot. i have more attractive girls tied up in my closet. at least they were more attractive back when they werent engulfed in poopie. actually i dont have a closet, i meant my toilet bowl.

None of that even fucking matters. I can't believe you even brought that bullshit up. Dumbass. The point is that Carmen diaz is hot shit. i'd bone her again. im going to get a grilled cheese you dont know what you're talking about, stop pretending like you do assholes im sick and tired of this BULLSHIT.

Last updated May 19th, 2005