How a college can get free beer.
Tuition isn't cheap, and neither is beer. But unlike tution, there are no scholarships for beer.
1. At the start of the year, grow facial hair and pace the dorms in a blue vest. People will start calling you an RA. When they do, request a room search and comfescate their beer.
3. Play beer pong and lose. If you lose, you get to drink a lot. For some reason nobody has discovered that glitch yet.
4. Have a mob of your friends go into a gas station all rowdy. They knock over a case of Pabst, spilling the cans all over the floor. The store can no longer sell them. They leave. Then you go in a while later all cool and friendly. "Hey, woah, some assholes spilled beer, huh? Damn that sucks." Then simply mention how much you love Macho Man Randy Savage. The clerk will grandfather you the entire case of beer.
5. Meet the rich art major girl. I promise you know what I'm talking about. Go to her place, say how great it is, and tell her she could throw a killer party. Invite aboslutley nobody. Show up, tell her what a disappointment she is, and leave with a case of beer.
6. Repeat step #5 with the rich art major guy.
7. This one is easy. All you do is get in the sack with the daughter of a local brewery. Then when she starts to gain your trust, you teach her how to pick locks and have her break into a liquor store and steal a bunch of stuff for you.
8.
Last updated August 23rd, 2005