Margaret Chode is the worst comedian ever.

Margaret Cho is the worst entertainer on the planet. I can't even believe it. Did I mention how bad she is? She is so awful. If Margaret Cho were a basket, it couldn't hold shit. It would be three pieces of straw glued together with sticky tack. If I ever see someone listen to Margaret Cho and crack a smile, I'm going to crack them in the face. I'm going to pull their teeth out and glue them onto a bat and pummel them in the gums with it until their brain falls out.

Here is every single Margaret Cho joke:

(said in a loud obnoxious voice) "Hi, I'm Margaret. My parents have a bad Asian accent and I'm on my period. And my family is dysfunctional because my parents have a bad Asian accent. Did I mention I'm on my period and my grandmother died?"

I've heard mimes tell funnier jokes. The only way Margaret Cho could be remotely entertaining is if she went up on stage and immediately shoved the microphone up her asshole. Then shat it out like a torpedo into the air and flipped belly up and caught it between her fat tits and smeared peanut butter all over her gaping vagina. And that's all assuming she had plastic surgery and liposuction and didn't look or sound anything like Margaret Cho because I HATE Margaret Cho.

I heard somewhere that she was in a few movies. I can't even imagine how many drugs I'd have to eat before I could sit through a movie like that. Here's how I envision it:

Scene 1:

(Margaret is sitting at a table with some of her female friends)

Margaret: Oh my god girls, my period hasn't came in four weeks and three hours.

Margaret's stupid friend: Well that's longer than you're vagina has came!

(Everyone at the table laughs and continues to talk about various girl-specific bathroom humor that really isn't funny. And it's not even like I'm sexist. I don't think male-specific bathroom humor is funny either. If margret cho were a man, all he'd talk about would be shaving his beard. But margret Cho can't talk about shaving her beard because she doesn't... oh wait..)

Scene 2:

(Margaret comes out and commences bitching about her family and insignificant crap that nobody cares about. And even the things people may possible be able to relate to, she delivers the content in such a way that makes everybody vomit. Then a janitor comes out and mops up all the puke and puts it into a pile and it looks exactly like Margaret Cho.)

The End.

But if I were making the movie, I'd have fifty vikings come and get ready to rape her. But then they're like, "Yuck, look at that disgusting gaping vagina." Then the vikings run off and kill like ten thousand warlocks.

Last updated September 18th, 2005