Feminist bumper stickers I don't really understand.
I went to a speaker named Jackson Katz who travels the country preaching gender equality and women's rights. He was a piece of shit. Everyone in the audience gave him a standing ovation excerpt for me. I remained seated because I had a huge boner from the girl next to me sucking my dick.
Anyway, at the end he handed out bumper stickers, most of which I didn't understand. Here are a few that I remember.
"Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History."
That's not much to brag about, considering misbehaved women don't make history either. If you're a woman, making history is pretty much a futile effort. The only woman worthy of making history is Jenna Jameson. Many girls claim that their right to succeed is being impeded by the stereotypes men impose on them. But then comes Jenna, succeeding solely on perpetuating her stereotype. There should be bumper stickers that say, "People who are not Jenna Jameson rarely make history.... and probably suck in bed." Or
"You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing."
Good thing or bad thing, it doesn't matter. The fact that you're aware that you're a bitch and openly label yourself as one does not mean you're any less of a bitch or give you any right to be one. Knock it off.
"Women who seek only to be equal to men LACK AMBITION."
Not really. Sure there's a few out there. But like 99% of the rest of society, most girls just don't care. Any sane person knows that there will always be differences between men and women and that this sort of "equality" that they strive for is impossible. Accept your gender and move on. Just because a girl doesn't want to have all the privedges of a guy plus her own doesn't mean she lacks ambition.
Lesbians know deep down they will always have a vagina and no amount of surgery or convincing will turn them into a guy. So they take out their jealousy on us by dedicating their life to acquiring everything guys have that they don't.
All this that has been said is very farfetched and I have a hard time believing most of it. That's why I've come up with a more practical theory. These messages that are written on bumper stickers are female's method of transferring confident information. Women have a super secret language that appears to us as nonsense and is verbally communicated through means of crying. That's why girls sob their eyes out so god damn much and write journals and journals of mind numbing garbage.
Take this blog excert as an example:
"Posie and Lana were staying the night (slumber party!) so we headed home and played Scrabble with Baby Sis, watching Rex Navarrete's DVD. It was a good thing they were staying over, too, since the next morning we were off to a sluggish start."
If you convert each character to it's ASCII value and take the inverse reciprocal of the result and convert it back to english characters, you get this:
"The plans for the bomb are being dropped off in a briefcase on Central and West St. at 4:30pm on Saturday. Agentess C will be there to make the pickup. Bring the money... and some tampons."
The revolution is eminent. Fuck.
Last updated June 20th, 2005