Aliens are communicating with me.

Yeah, aliens are pretty cool. They came into my work today while I was sleeping and replaced my printer with a deepspace radiowave tranceiver. A few minutes ago when I printed out a report for my boss, the printer spat out alien jargon messages instead.

Looks like a frowny face. That means the aliens are sad. And have big noses. And the "X" in the left means that all their extacy has "left" and they're sad because they want more. They probably think I'm a drug dealer. Aliens are the shit.

This means that the aliens have to piss but don't want to get up because they're busy watching CKY on their PC. So they're telling me about it in hopes that I will go there and piss for them but that's impossible because we haven't invented remote bladder assistance technology. So I guess most of the communicating with aliens is pointless and we should stop putting funding into it and they should stop fucking with my shit at work and making me explain myself to the boss.

NASA always sends out radio signals into space trying to communicate with other life and I bet it really pisses them off. Zenorg is sitting at his desk on Xandar Minor when a radio wave signal gets picked up by his printer and how he has to explain himself.

Yeah, aliens are awesome. I bet corporations could save shitloads of money by outsourcing entry-level jobs to aliens. I bet they already do. I went to McDonalds once and this hideous being hands me a burger but I bet it was merely a holographic image of an alien who gets paid an equivalent of 2 cents per year because the interplanet exchange rate is so huge.

Hmm. I don't know what that means. Probably nothing. I guess aliens are pretty stupid. It's probably not even aliens, it's probably just my printer being broken or something. Stupid aliens broke my printer. I have to get back to work.

Last updated June 30th, 2005